My child’s soul – What is my role?

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When it comes to my child’s soul, I can get very confused as to what my role should be. The human part of me wants to correct and protect, while I know deep within myself that he has his own agenda, his very own lessons that he signed on to learn in this lifetime.

I think most parents try to pass on what they have learned, in their own life experience, to their offspring, in hopes of saving them some trials and heartache. It is my belief, however,  that our souls choose to incarnate on this earth for the purpose of growth, learning and connection.

What if my child’s soul knows more than mine does?

Even the most illuminated of parents likely have a difficult time seeing their children as infinite beings. I am becoming more comfortable with this notion each day.

My son is eleven, and sometimes, I swear he could be forty-five! I have absolutely no doubt that I am learning far more from him than he is from me. I think my child’s soul has been around the block a few times.

So here we are, my son and I, two souls on a mission, here on Earth. Our missions may be intertwined, or not. It’s possible our souls have been reincarnating together over many lifetimes. Maybe he was the parent, and I was the child in a previous lifetime.

What is my child’s soul teaching me right now?

Look, I don’t know about you, but of all the people in my life, my kid knows better than anyone else how to push my buttons.

I can be having the best day of my life. I’m flying around on my own shooting star. I’m dancing and twirling through life. I am maintaining this incredibly high vibration, and then…I pick up my child from school.

He is whining and he wants this and he wants that. He is being disrespectful in public and pushing the absolute limits of my sanity. Can you relate to this situation? I bet you can, we have all been there, right?

Life is always our mirror. It makes complete sense that our children will reflect back to us, the things we aren’t appropriately dealing with in our own lives.

What I’m working on and how my child’s soul has upped the ante.

My focus, all day, everyday, is more self-love, more gratitude and more forgiveness, raising my vibration and shining my light. So what is the best way for me to deal with my son’s preteen attitude that sent me tumbling from my shooting star?

Definitely NOT the way I actually did. I got angry and made threats, that he is smart enough to know I won’t keep. And when he was ready to apologize, I wouldn’t accept it. Now we are both upset, hurt and angry with each other.

Sure, it happens and I’m truly okay with it. Open expression of feelings is always welcome in my house. I intentionally make sure my son knows that no matter how angry we get with each other, I love him with everything that I am. NOTHING can EVER change that.

What could I have done better?

I could have forgiven sooner, knowing that forgiveness will benefit my own well-being as well as his. Or not worried so much about what other people might think of me as a parent. If my child had behaved this way at home, rather than in public, I may not have reacted the same way.

I could have realized my anger was more about my own insecurities as a parent than it was about his behavior. Maybe I could have approached the situation from a viewpoint of gratitude. The truth is, I am extremely grateful for the experience of motherhood and all the challenges it brings.

My final conclusion:

We all have a purpose here on Earth. Sometimes we will teach our children. More often, they will teach us. Your child may be an old soul that you have been traveling with for a very long time. That soul deserves your respect and attention.

It may even benefit us to allow our child’s soul to lead from time to time. Who knows what we may learn.

The best I can do for my son is to lead by example. Try to allow him some space to shine his own light. Accept and acknowledge that his inner wisdom comes from the same source mine does. Remember, that with him, as with everyone else, we are in this together!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Simple questions that reveal glimpses of how you have been guided all along

We are constantly being drawn to the truth about who and what we really are. Of course, the closed, sleeping mind will not realize this. Once you are awake or have opened your heart and mind to why we are here on Earth, life may start to look a bit different to you.

Everything around you may take on new meaning. You may begin to see, on a much deeper level, the impact of the movies you watch, the books you read, and the music you listen to. Your preferences may begin to transform as well, becoming more in line with your true authentic self.

I want to share with you a look back at the very early origins of my own journey. There were always signs, events and preferences drawing me toward my ultimate goal. Even though I only truly awoke to our purpose recently, I can now see how I was consistently being shown the way throughout my life.

Remember to look to your past and your childhood as you answer these questions. That may be where you find the most connection and meaning.

1. What is your all time favorite song?

Music moves us. It is something we connect to very deeply in many cases and what we are attracted to may say something significant about us.

I never have to think about my answer to this question. It is a given for me. I had my favorite song tattooed on my hip when I was twenty years old. The name of the song, not the lyrics! It is the only tattoo I have and I can still cry when I hear the song, some thirty years later. It touches my heart in a very deep way. My song is “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.

Back in the nineties, before my ex-husband and I were married, we attended a Peter Gabriel concert in Phoenix, Arizona. We had eighth row seats, I believe, and it was amazing! When he sang my song I cried like a baby. My ex wanted to know why I was crying. All I could say was “I always wanted to feel this way (about someone).”

I didn’t know the truth of my why. My sleeping mind believed, as most of us would, that someone external might provide this feeling for me someday. I now know that is unlikely to happen. This depth of emotion can only be found within.

I now believe this song to have a more spiritual meaning that I just couldn’t see back then.

2. What is the best book you have ever read?

I love to read! Reading is knowledge and I want to continue to learn every day of my lifetime. I read non-fiction almost exclusively now, but when I was younger, fiction was definitely my thing.

My favorite book of all time is “The Talisman” by Stephen King and Peter Straub. I first read this book around age nineteen or twenty and have re-read it a few times since.

I now see Jack’s quest to find the talisman as a spiritual transformation journey. A journey experienced in multiple realms, where Jack was required to walk into his fear and face his demons. All the while he was receiving divine guidance and protection.

Wolf is a favorite character in this story. His famous quote is “Wolf! Right here and now!” Could this be a not so subtle message about staying present? Below are quotes I found from each author, just for fun:

 

 

3. What is your favorite movie of all time?

Super easy question for me. The Matrix. Written and directed by the brilliant Lana and Lilly Wachowski and starring Keanu Reeves. Released in 1999, the special effects were ahead of their time, but it was the story that captivated me.

The timing of this film was impeccable with the internet really starting to take hold. I felt the story was incredible and yet credible at the same time. One part of my mind (the ego) doesn’t want to believe anything like this is possible, but another part (the soul) knows that is.

And, of course, Neo is on an epic spiritual journey in The Matrix, which seems to be a theme for my favorite things in life. This movie is the ultimate story of spiritual awakening.

I was thirty-two when it was released eighteen years ago and there has not been a film since that has grabbed hold of me like this one.

4. What was your favorite television series ever?

I really had to put some effort into this one. We watch so much TV and there are so many shows to choose from. Although I have a couple of currently running favorites, I took my own advice and looked to my past to find my answer. The X Files. Absolutely.

Again I see the struggle of ego versus soul in this story, but brought out by the individual characters in the series. Scully represents the ego to me. She is the smart, practical, closed mind that has to see it to believe it. Mulder represents the seeking soul here. He instinctually knows things he cannot see with his human eyes. He lives his life based on his intuition.

As the series progressed Mulder and Scully learned to work together and rely on each others strengths. Not at all unlike the process of the awakening soul’s struggle to convince ego of what it refuses to believe and create conditions where soul and ego can learn to work together toward a common goal.

5. How did you express your creativity as a child?

When I was a teenager and young adult, I wrote poetry. A lot of poetry. I was never published, I just wrote to retain my own sanity. I did briefly consider becoming a journalist around the age of thirteen or fourteen, but it faded out.

It seems all of my life I have turned to the written word to get me through the most difficult of life’s challenges. From journaling, to letters, to prayers, yes, I often put my prayers on paper. I write to express my emotions. I write to ask for guidance. I write to release my fear. Writing is my default mode.

Yet, I didn’t consider myself a writer, not until recently anyway.

6. What do you collect?

I think most people collect something. I’m not a pack rat. I have moved so many times in my life, I know how to purge! That said, I do hang onto a few keepsakes due to their sentimental value and I have a few collections as well.

What defines a collection? Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that a collection is a group of five or more items that relate to each other in some identifiable way. As far as clothing is concerned, I would say, overall, it is not a collection, however, if you have a shoe fetish, are crazy about handbags or have twenty cardigan sweaters, that might count.

I have a collection of Austrian leaded crystal animals. 1988-2008

I have a collection of cat statues and figurines. 1988-present

I have books. I purge them, but it is difficult for me, and some always make it back into the collection. I have many waiting to be read and would love to have a small library area to keep them stored and displayed.

I love shoes. I have been purging these lately as well, but still have way more than is necessary.

I have a Pandora type bracelet. I suppose the beads qualify as a collection. 2010-present.

My newest collection is healing crystals. I’m learning more about their energy and properties everyday and I have been using them to enhance my meditation practice. 2017

Obviously I am an animal lover, cats in particular. Cats are Zen masters who share their energy and high vibration with us. I love that cats can physically manifest their vibe by purring. Check out my post 6 things cats know about mindfulness and awareness.

Unknown to me when I started collecting, Austrian crystals are often used to clear energy blockages. I guess those will be coming out of storage!

Shoes, it seems can symbolize both paired-ness and the ability to stand up and walk forward. Books represent, for me, knowledge, wisdom and the longing for continued growth. The bracelet beads, which each represent something “me”, is a subtle presentation of myself to the world. Coming from a very private person, it might be a significant statement.

7. Are you drawn to a certain stone, crystal or gem?

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right? Not always the case, but if you happen to be captivated by the Diamond, there may be a reason why.

The Diamond is a crystal of Light, a symbol of perfection and illumination. It has been known since antiquity as a “Stone of Invincibility”, bringing victory, superior strength, fortitude and courage to its wearer.

Although I wore Diamonds while I was married, this stone has always seemed to be the sidekick of other gems in my life. The reason may be that I require only a small bit of the Diamonds energies added to the larger energy I require from another crystal or gem.

I believe a certain type of stone may “call to you”, drawing you into its energy field. I also believe that the crystal you require for growth can “find” you or seek you out. This may happen for you when you receive a piece of gemstone jewelry as a gift.

The first crystal to look at in your story is your birthstone. Each birthstone will have specific qualities and attributes that say something about you. crystalvaults.com is a great source for researching this information.

In my post What your Favorite Stones and Gems say about your Journey, I talk more about this subject and share some of the crystals and gems that have influenced my own spiritual journey.

8. Who was your very first spiritual teacher?

Yeah! You’ve made it to the final question. Let me start by saying that a spiritual teacher doesn’t have to be a practitioner of any “woo woo stuff.” Your first spiritual teacher may have been a parent, child, friend, professor or someone you met for only a brief encounter, but who left a very lasting impression on your soul.

My first spiritual teacher was a friend. She was my soul sister and one of the most fascinating human beings I have ever met. We met when I was fifteen years old and she led me on a journey that shaped the person I am today.

We dabbled a bit in the “woo woo stuff”, just enough, perhaps, to provide me a base to come back to later in life. She taught me some of my first lessons in unconditional love. That we can love each other despite our differences. That “family” doesn’t have to mean “blood”. We can create our family to include whomever we wish.

Wherever this amazing woman led, I followed. As I followed, I learned and every turn seems now to have been only in my own best interest. Without question, she directly influenced my career, where I have lived and the people I have met.

Our journey together, here on Earth, lasted seventeen years. And even with her passing from this physical world, she was guiding me to life choices I would not have made otherwise. She continues to visit me in my dreams and I am so very grateful for her continuing presence in my life.

Smiles and Hugs to you!

 

 

 

 

Love Yourself Awake

Once upon a time, I was easily wounded by what I perceived as another’s rejection. I was all too willing to take everything personally. The slightest comment, or lack thereof, could be considered a deliberate attack.

My ego was, and still is, capable of creating scenarios completely blown out of proportion and based on events that have not actually taken place. I lived my life from a place of fear.

I was afraid of being abandoned, not being good enough and winding up alone. I was so consumed by my fear that I stopped speaking my mind. I kept my mouth shut, acting as if I had no opinions whatsoever.

I had been avoiding conflict for many years in an effort to keep the peace and be likeable. I had become everyone’s doormat! And no one knew the real me. She was hidden from the world.

On the outside I was strong, smart and capable. On the inside, I was a crumpled mess. That is the story of how ego works. The ego is your self-image, the you that you present to the world, and it is an excuse making machine! Here are some of the things my ego told me:

Strong, confident women don’t wear their emotions on their sleeve.

I am better than they are, so there is no need to argue.

I am patient, tolerant and kind. There is no need to hurt someone’s feelings by expressing what I really think.

Everyone has a right to their own opinion and views. It is not my job to judge.

Now, that might not sound so bad, right? Not if it is your ego doing the talking. The ego tells you what you want to believe to keep you in your place. The ego is afraid of change.

Inside of me was a mountain of repressed emotion that was about to become a volcano of spewing anger, judgement and self-loathing. I had embraced becoming the victim.

It oftentimes seems, that as human beings, we gravitate toward the negative. Rather than take responsibility for our actions, feelings and emotions, we want to blame, complain and stay the same.

I am not the same person I was six months ago. In fact, I am dramatically different. I have discovered the “bigger voice” inside of me. My soul-self is awake and I am allowing her to take charge.

Everyone wants to know what the “one thing” is, the key to happiness, the secret to life. I know that secret. The “one thing” is self-love. There is no stronger force for creating joy than learning to love yourself.

 

You can consciously practice gratitude, forgiveness and self-care with positive results even if you haven’t truly achieved a great level of self-love. My article Soul Growth tells of my journey and some of the tools that got me here.

It’s difficult to explain and I know my old self would have had a difficult time grasping the notion, but with self-love comes clarity. The clarity to see what an amazing creation you are and everything and everyone else is too.

The practice of gratitude and forgiveness takes on a new life as well. It seems to come naturally to me now, without so much effort. There is so much more to be thankful for and so much less that requires my forgiveness.

I now know that strong, confident women are not afraid to show their emotions.

We are all equally perfect in our divine creation regardless of how we express ourselves.

I AM patient, tolerant and kind, but that does not mean I have to keep my mouth shut. My opinions matter. The feelings of someone else are their responsibility and, quite frankly, none of my business.

Just as I believe everyone else has a right to their opinions and views, so do I. It is not my job to judge anyone else on what they believe and it is not their job to judge me. My feelings can only be hurt if I believe what is implied.

 

My journey has been amazing and I look forward to all the future holds for me. A word of caution, however, would be that although I love the changes that have taken place and I am deeply grateful for the awakening, it is not always a comfortable place to be.

You still have to feel your emotions, in fact, possibly on a much deeper level than before. I know, for me, I have good days and bad days, just like before. Now, however, my good days are fabulous and my bad days are, well, not so tragic.

My ego can still get the best of me. My soul-self usually prevails if I use my tools. I always have to keep working. If I let my spiritual practice slide, I will fall back asleep.

So I keep practicing, I keep learning and I keep evolving. With every day I am able to do this, the world becomes a brighter, friendlier place, where we can all be ourselves, we are all connected and we are all enough, just as we are.

Smiles and hugs!

 

 

Gratitude 2.0 – Going Deeper

Being grateful for the good things in your life is one thing, but have you ever considered expressing gratitude for the things you aren’t so happy about? Let’s explore this concept together.

In my post How to live a happy life – 13 actions you can take today, I invited you to take a thirty-day gratitude challenge, where you would list three different things you are grateful for, each day for thirty days. If we look at our lists I’m guessing we will find mostly pleasant experiences and things that make us feel really good. That’s fabulous, but now, let’s go a little deeper.

What happens when we become grateful for those not so wonderful feeling experiences and people in our lives? Miracles happen!! Trust me, it is pure magic.

So you might be asking, how exactly am I supposed to be thankful for stuff that makes me feel lousy? Well, to start out, you don’t have to actually feel it. Fake it, if you have to. The more you practice, the better you will start to feel about it. Eventually, you will begin to believe it and before you know it, miracles!

My belief is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience here on Earth. We are here to learn, however, that part of us that is human, has allowed us to forget our purpose here and even that we are, at our core, spirit.

Spirit wants to know contrast. Without knowing pain, how could you know comfort? Without first experiencing fear, how could you experience courage? Without the feeling of grief, you would not be able to know delight. Without sadness, there is no happiness. Without blame, there can be no forgiveness. This list goes on and on and on.

In the book, The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie writes, “One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It’s called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don’t like this experience, but thank you anyway. Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.”

In the book, Gratitude A Way of Life, Louise Hay writes, “We even want to be grateful for the lessons we have. Don’t run from lessons; they are little packages of treasure that have been given to us. As we learn from them, our lives change for the better. I now rejoice whenever I see another portion of the dark side of myself. I know that it means that I am ready to let go of something that has been hindering my life.”

Life on Earth will know conflict and opposition as long as we are still learning and growing. Cherish all of your moments, good and bad. Every one is required to make you who you are, and you are amazing!

Below is a great quote on opposition. I am not positive of who actually said it. It has been attributed to Winston Churchill, Henry Ford, William Wrigley Jr., and Ezra Pound. I suspect each has said it, in one form or another.

Love yourself, love your brother, love your life. Everyday say Thank You. Thank you God, Thank you Universe, Thank you Life, for everything, all of my experiences, because I know everything is a blessing, even those feelings, thoughts and experiences that don’t look like it at first.

When you are done being grateful, say “Something wonderful is going to happen today.” And it will.

Smiles and hugs!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soulwork – find peace inside of you

Have you ever just looked around at your life and wondered “How did I get here?” I think most of us probably have at one time or another. This question hit me hard about six months ago. And it wasn’t the first time for me.

I was humming along just fine, happy and grateful for all of the blessings in my life, when something inside me shifted. The outer forces that may have contributed to my shift were that my fiftieth birthday was fast approaching and I had been laid off from the job I love due to lack of work coming in.

My transformation had begun. Who am I? Who do I really want to be? Is this the life I was meant to live? Who do I show to the world? What do I hide and why? Do I have a deeper purpose? I started using Google search like a magic eight ball. Every question that popped into my head, I threw at the search bar.

I couldn’t get enough information. I suddenly wanted to learn and know everything there is to know. I buried myself in a huge pile of books. I started journaling again. Why did I stop? Writing has always gotten me through life’s biggest challenges.

I started meditating and I was completely and pleasantly surprised at how great I started to feel shortly after beginning. I started remembering my dreams, so I now keep a dream journal on the night stand, next to my bed. I began taking nature walks that provide me with a powerful connection to life on this planet.

The answers started coming. I was led to books and people and blogs that could help me on my way. I would find one awesome resource that would lead to another, and that one to another after that.

I started listening to my intuition and taking actions I had previously feared. I ended a long-term relationship that wasn’t serving either of us, willing and longing to be alone so that I could truly discover the real me that lay under the layers of guilt, insecurity and repression.

We walk around blindfolded, unable to see our true reality. Everyone is searching for something. Everyone is trying to fill some hole inside of themselves. But when we are willing to look, very deep inside of ourselves, we will find the answers. The answers that can open our hearts and free our minds.

We are more than what we think we are!

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. All of the answers to all of the questions can be found within ourselves, if we are willing to search the depths of our soul. You have the power to be more!

The ego, or who you perceive yourself to be, is a master at blocking your soulwork and discovery of your authentic self. It will make excuses, fill you with fear and stop you from moving forward. The ego needs to be understood so that it can work for you, rather than against you.

Everything started moving in the right direction for me when I realized, without a doubt, that the only way I would truly be able to love others unconditionally was to somehow learn to love myself in that very way. Being able to accomplish this one task was the key difference between this journey and past self discovery missions.

When you can embrace EVERYTHING that you are, miracles happen. I realized, with great clarity, that we are all interconnected by the fabric of life. There is no separation between you and me. We are one. We are the same. When I look at you, I am looking in a mirror. If I see anything I don’t like, it is simply a reflection of myself. Something I must work on to improve.

When you love yourself, you love life, all of life, everything and everyone in it. You stop seeking to find happiness from external sources. Life loves you back. You will begin to attract the things that are required for you to shine your light on the world.

There is no one else quite like you. The world wants you just as you are. Fly your freak flag high in the air. Celebrate your weird, embrace your inner nerd, give your cat lady self a little kiss. You are already perfect.

Smile and hugs!